George Rides Again

(a snippet by Scarlett Madison)

The after-dinner speaker at last Friday’s British Museum gala dinner was Lady Georgiana Pilkington-Derwent, the renowned archaeologist and explorer. She has just returned from a hunt for the elusive Alimandera Diamond, deep in the Amazon jungle. Resplendent in scarlet velvet, a silk turban atop her elegantly-greying hair, Lady Derwent, or ‘George’, as she prefers to be called, was on top form, regaling the crowd with lurid tales of her recent skirmish with Peruvian bandits, and showing off the bullet scars. In addition, she still sports a jewelled eye patch, legacy of a narrow escape from Turkmenistani tribesmen last year whilst in search of the Lost Parasol of Ashkabad. Dr. Underwood, her nephew and faithful assistant, was on hand as ever to man the slide projector and bring on the exhibits, including a ten-foot crocodile killed and stuffed by the speaker herself. As a final flourish, Lady Derwent put her still shapely leg up on the lectern, whipped a gun from her thigh holster and brandished it at the startled crowd. Imagine their delight when a flame promptly shot out of the end as she pulled the trigger, enabling her to light one of her trademark cheroots! The rest of the evening progressed in similar style; after several bottles of fine malt whisky, and all-night dancing with Lords Barclay and Winchester, the admirable Lady left at dawn for the Valley of the Kings, in search of Rameses II’s legendary Golden Dentures.

© Scarlett Madison 2007